I am so thankful for being a DAD!!!

I have struggles in my life, but yet I am alive and kicking! I do have to say this that if I didn't have Ryder in my life it would be hard to be happy!!  I can't explain or even try to tell you how much love, affection and caring I have for this 3'6" little man! But does he make me want to be a better person, DAD and friend. HELL YEAH!!! I am blessed with a loving and forgiving family.  I have learned a lot through them and I appreciate them more than I say.

I am having issues with my Gall Bladder and it has been causing me more pain and BS than I want to share.  But it has also made me look at how I am living and what I need to fix.  First and foremost I need to fix me and heaven knows this will take a lifetime or two!!!  But in that process of me learning about being a dad I have found the true me and I really like where I am going.  It seems I am at my happiest and most satisfied when Ryder is around.  I have tried to fill in the days I don't have Ryder with work, but that has not been the best idea I have had.  Bartending at 41 isn't the easiest and it has put me back in the drinking life.  I don't like when my mind is clouded by Alcohol.  Doctors have told me not to drink anymore until they figure out what is wrong with my gall bladder, and doctors before that told me never to drink again.  I am taking this as a higher power telling me I don't need alcohol in my life.  Trust me it won't be easy but it also won't be hard.  I just need to get back to the basics: Working out, taking care of Ryder and love being an Average Single DAD!!

Thanks for your ears in my battle of life experiences and I Love You all especially my family!!!
Till I need to talk more about myself or Ryder.
Later,
Chris
Average Single Dad
averagesingledad@gmail.com

Well it has been way too long!!

Hello Everyone.

I am back!

Sorry for the missing person, but I have had a long and hard 2011. But to help me out I am starting to blog again about my wonderful life, my awesome son and the struggles I am having with my TBI and my addiction. So to get started Life has been extremely difficult, I have lied and mislead people I love and trust.  I want to apologize for this.  I have continued to struggle with my depression and I have been trying to self medicate it with drinking, bar-tending and gambling.  So far that hasn't worked, so I am going back to basics.  I am starting my workout regiment on Monday!  I am getting back to eating healthier and not drinking.  Hopefully this will give me the proper state of mind so when my depression hits I don't run and try to medicate it but stand tall and fight it!!!! It has been a long hard fight and i have to say I have lost! But I am picking myself back up and ready to take on these challenges.

Now on to my pride and joy, Ryder Oliver Niemeyer. He is now 4 years old and I love him with all my heart.  I really believe he is here to help me learn and discover the man that I am supposed to be.  I get this thought that I am hear to teach him, which I am to some degree, but I have come to really find out that he is the teacher and I am the student. Everything that I am teaching him I have found out that I still need to be taught.  This is hard to say but I am really an old dog being taught new tricks. Not that they haven't been taught to me, just that I wasn't able to be taught at that time!  So I apologize to all my family and friends that I have hurt or lied too. Ryder and myself have been talking about promises and that keeping promises are very important. I want my son to know that I love him with all my heart and I don't want him to feel that he needs to be dishonest or to misguide me.  All I want is for him to be honest and open to me.  Funny thing is he is 4 and that is all he knows how to be,  So I looked at this and found out that I needed to be taught this(ouch that hurt) Sorry mom, dad, sister and brother. I have not been the most honest and open to you and I want you to know I am trying to change and I PROMISE to be more honest with you. I love you all and I want you to know I am OK just trying to figure out who and what I am!!!  So until I write again.

Thanks for the Love,
Single Average Dad

How rewarding is being a dad?

I have to say this last week has been very trying and tough. I started a new JOB, I loose one day with my son(but love that Reanna, his mom is getting him), and can't go to the Oregon Coast next weekend.  This all sounds so horrible, but then I think what I get in return........
     1. I get to be an adult. Not just a single dad, but a working adult!
     2. I get to take my son to Disneyland for his 4th Birthday(since now I will be bringing in money).
     3. I get some piece of mind that I am growing up.
     4. I still get to be a DAD!

I have been talking with Ryder a lot about money and that daddy is broken(meaning broke). But I hope he understands that work is a part of life and Daddy hasn't worked since before he was born.  I hope he understands that daddy is going back to work, but I don't think he understands that we are going to miss a day together.  I have to put out much love to Reanna, she has been a great mother to Ryder and a good friend to me. This makes it very easy to raise our son together. So thank you Reanna.

Today I get to spend time with Ryder  and I am going to take him for a fun day at the Science Center and Children's Museum.  He always wants to go to the Science Center or Swimming now.  I love his thinking!  PLAY, PLAY, PLAY.  So Off I go into this wonderful life I have.

Thanks everyone who has supported me and helped me grow back into an adult.  Now watch out world because Ryder and myself are on the loose.

Single Average Dad
singleaveragedad@gmail.com

Today is a new Chapter

So today I go to my first official meeting at my new JOB. It has been over 4 years since I have official worked!  I am sad to say I am getting back in the Bar business but hopefully this is just a tool for me to further my life.  I also start school in April. But the sad thing is I loose one day with my son a week. :-(  this makes me sad. But I have to take this in stride.  I am bettering my life so my son can have a better life.  So for now I will be just suck it up and work my ass off.  So for all you people out there in Puyallup(yeah that is where I am working)  I will be letting you know when you can come get a drink from your favorite Bartender.  LOL

Thanks,
Chris Niemeyer
AverageSingleDad@gmail.com

I love being a Dad!!

I love being a dad!!! Being a Dad has shown me how much I need to learn about being responsible, but also  has brought me a bright and cheerful life.

 I just had the most crazy scare in my life!  Ryder and myself where up at the Highline Community College Tennis courts thats has a private walk park and pond.  We where up there playing tag and letting the dogs run when Ryder wanted to play Hide and Seek.  So being the fun dad I am (LOL) I went along, he hid then I found him. I hid and he found me. Then he went to hide and I couldn't find him.  So I was running around trying to find my 3 1/2 year old son. Calling his name and looking under every tree branch and every place I think he could hide.  But no answer, laugh or even a cry.  Tears started to come to me and I then went into survival mode and grabbed everyone I could to help me find him.  After 20 minutes of looking I was on the phone with the police and look who comes running up the street, with no coat on and a smile on his face?!?!?!? Ryder.  Whew I was relived and all I could do was laugh. Ryder kept telling me that he told me he would come back.  I asked him where he went? He told me he went home and crawled in bed. But when I didn't show up he went to find me.  WTF!!!  My 3 1/2 year old walked home a block and went in the house grabbed a juice and climbed in bed, while daddy was running wild and calling for him.  All I could do is laugh at him and tell him how scarred I was.

So after all the hype and my heart rate became normal I sat him down and talked to him, but how do you explain to a 3 year old about this.  I called his mom and had her talk to him also.  I hope he gets it, since I don't know how I can handle this scenario again!  

The moral to this story is my 3 1/2 year old son is smarter and knows more than I.  LOL Well at least I know he knows where we live and that  he can get in the house!  BTW the front door was locked and he had to go around back.  

Today we are staying indoors and enjoying each others company.

Have a fabulous day,

Single Average Dad

singleaveragedad@gmail.com

Potty training is easy!!

Well at least when you have a brilliant son like I do!! LOL Ryder never wanted to be potty trained or stop drinking out of a bottle. SO being the guy I am I let him drink his bottle and wear his diapers.  Little did I know he had this all planned out.

One night Ryder was getting ready for bed and we had been going potty in the toilet and when he was done I asked him to come over here so I can put on a diaper.  But Ryder told me that he was done wearing diapers and that he won't pee the bed.  I was very scared because I remember I had trouble not peeing the bed and I think I was like 6.  But it has been a month and no accidents in the bed yet.  How did this happen??  I talked to his mom and she is still having him wear diapers to bed.  I guess he wanted to be like daddy and just wear PJ's to bed.  I love this kid and how easy he is.

SO now no more diapers for Ryder!!! What will I do with the extra money??? Oh yeah I still don't have extra money. The coolest thing about this is he also quit using his bottle.  Just stopped using it and wants to drink like a big boy.  So I have officially hung up the bottle and diapers.  I am sure I will be washing my bedding soon.  Next step is to get him to sleep in his own bed!!!

Thanks for Reading,
Average Single Dad
averagesingledad@gmail.com

Ice Cream for a day was great!

Yesterday was so much fun but last night sucked!!  Lesson learned all day Ice Cream makes for a tired and awake kid.  He didn't get to sleep until Midnight, so I didn't sleep until 2am and was up at 8am.  Funny thing is he didn't think he was tired and this morning he asked what kind of Ice Cream we are having. So we had a great talk about Kyle and why we celebrated his Birthday.  I think Ryder understood since he hasn't asked for any more Ice Cream and we are having a regular day.

But this made me think, sometimes you just have to let your kid explore and find things out for themselves. Good or bad they will learn and adapt.  I hope he shares with his Pre School class what he did with daddy and from now on January 17 will be a day of Ice Cream and fun for Ryder and Myself.

So have a fabulous week and time to hit the gym and work off all that Ice Cream!!

Average Single Dad
averagesingledad@gmail.com

Man do I love being a DAD!

You know life brings many challenges and rewards.  Today I am sitting here thinking what can Ryder and myself do this week that will bring us closer together.  Last week we gave some of his toys away so I think this week is defiantly a rewards week for Ryder(I will also probably reward myself also!)

I think I am going to give myself a break form the computer and the TV this week and just play with my son.  I have been hearing a lot of people tell me they grow up so fast and I want him to grow up, but yet I also want to play with him.  This is a tough job for me. I really do not know how to play with a 3 year old and it is confusing since he is so smart and I think he knows everything already.  When I was his age I had a big sister and a little brother that I played with.  I sometimes forget that Ryder needs just a buddy to play with and not learn from.  SO this week it is all about me being Ryder's buddy.

On Monday the 17th we will be celebrating Martin Luther King Day and also a great influence on how unselfish kids are.


Kyle "Kylie" Roger: January 17th - Ice Cream Day! 


Please read his story and if you have kids let them learn and Celebrate this great kids life and eat tons of ICE CREAM!!!

Go out and spoil your kids enjoy some Ice Cream and teach them that life is worth living!

Thanks,

Average Single Dad

averagesingledad@gmail.com

Waking up with a foot in your mouth?

Today started off kinda shady, Ryder and myself woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Well I woke up with his foot kicking me in the face!!! LOL  He has been a trooper for all the work we have done in the last 3 days.  But now he wants to start giving away all of his toys, shoes and clothes. He has gone to the other extreme giving away everything.

I have come to find out Ryder has a temper that is triggered by little things.  If he can't get his socks on, or he can't stand a dinosaur up on its feet he wants to either throw it away or give it away now!   So I am asking for help, what is a good way for me to show him it is easier to relax and work out the problem than to just give up and throw it away???  Scary thing is I realize I do this, if things don't go the way I planned I push it to the side and forget about it. Thinking it will work itself out.  I do not want my son to follow in my footsteps so I am asking for help. How do I stop this way of thinking and to show my son the proper way to handle these situations. Also I might learn something from this. Well maybe this is actually a lesson for me and not Ryder.  Hmmm.

So let the comments begin tell me how you feel about this!

Thanks
Average Single Dad

averagesingeldad@gmail.com

Lets GO SEAHAWKS!!!

What an Amazing 2011 For Seattle!!!

2011 has been an eye opener and really showing me how great life and Seattle is!!  So today Ryder and myself woke up and laid in bed for a minute.  Then we talked about what we where gonna do. He brought up that we are going to give all his baby toys to Goodwill. Is he amazing or what?  So we got up and started going through all his toys and he told me which ones he wanted to give to kids.  I was smiling from ear to ear with the excitement that my son is giving his toys away!!

I have been really lazy and didn't get the tree down and put away, but last night Ryder told me it was time to put the tree away and he started to take the ornaments off.  Who is this kid?  SO we talked about all the ornaments and what they mean to me and stand for.  He loved it and he wanted to sleep with the Mickey and Minnie last night before we put them in storage.

Ryder just reminded me how simple life is and that if we just do things in the now we are much more appreciative of our life!  Ryder has made me open my eyes and realize to be good, play hard, love everyone and do the little things in life.

Have a great Sunday.

OH YEAH....HOW ABOUT THOSE SEAHAWKS!!!!!!

See you soon,
Average Single Dad
averagesingledad@gmail.com

Today is the Day!

Christmas tree comes down, I put my Townhouse up for sale, I try to get into School or try and find part time work. I clean Ryder's toys up and sit back and look how great of a life I really have!

Sometimes we get all caught up in life on what we need and what we want, we don't get to enjoy the day or our life! I have to admit December was a stressful month for me, but the New Year has brought on New and improved ways of thinking.  I have been trying to hang on to my Townhouse that me and my Ex bought, but it is time to let go and move on.  I love this house because it is where we conceived Ryder and I have some very fond and powerful memories here.  But also i have some hurtful and hard memories.  I think back to when I was 4 and I can't even remember where I lived or what Mom was doing.  But I do remember being happy because I had a family that loved me and I loved them.

Bring on the new and unknown, I am finally ready to start living my life again!  By this time next year I will be either in School or have a career going, Ryder and myself will be in a new home, I hopefully will have found someone to enjoy life with, but most of all The Niemeyer Clan will be happy and EXCITED for 2012!!  Enjoy 2011, don't get caught in all the hype, before you know it, it is gone... Don't let your life pass you by.

Thanks,
Average Single Dad
averagesingeldad@gmail.com

Wednesdays are tough for me.

Every Tuesday night I meet Ryder's mom and she gets him until Saturday.  It is nice to get some me time but Damn I don't need that much me time! LOL  Last night I came home and cleaned my house and straightened up Ryder and my rooms.   It is nice to get everything back in order but then like this morning I am looking for things to do.  I am doing laundry and I have the house already straightened up, remember I am a male so clean is what I consider clean.

So today  I am going through all of Ryder's toys he never plays with anymore. As a lesson we are going to give those to the Salvation Army.  I will have Ryder go through them also and see what we are giving away.  I am sure he isn't going to like this but I need to get his toys under control. Yes I am a sucker and I will buy him anything if he asks nice, and yes he knows this.  I want to try and teach Ryder that giving is good and that we are fortunate enough to have all this and that there are some kids that have nothing.  So I will be blogging about this next week.

Thanks for listening to my ideas and thoughts!
Average Single Dad
averagesingledad@gmail.com

Happy New year Everyone!!

So today is a Great day to be a Dad.  Me and my son have had a fabulous holiday season. But the only bad thing is now he thinks he gets toys and candy everyday.  Guess I should have thought about that before I spoiled him. 

Today I just want to share how great it is to have a boy that loves you unconditionally!  He only knows love for me and shows it by sharing with me.  He wants to help me clean the Christmas tree up and get the house back to normal state.  It doesn't matter if we play all day or clean all day. All he wants to do is be with dad and enjoy my company.  So instead of writing anymore about it. We are going to ride his bike and then off to the Pacific Science Center. Thanks Grandpa for the great gift!!  It will be used weekly!

Till Tomorrow folks,
Average Single Dad
averagesingeldad@gmail.com